Hindsight is 2020

Hindsight is 2020

This past year, the infamous year of 2020, seems like it lasted more than one single year.

I think back to the start of 2020 and it is hard to remember "normal" times. What was life truly like pre-Covid? It is hard to remember because the cautionary lifestyle we have lived this last year seems like it truly ingested, chewed up, and spit out any "normal" we had in our lives.

When I do attempt to think back to the very beginning of the year I remember the many references to 2020 being a year of "2020 vision". This year would be the year to be mindful of decluttering your vision, goals, mindset, distractions, etc. and look clearly to what matters most in life: God.

I remember distinctly being a pessimistic person and thinking, “Ah, another cliché play on words: 2020 vision.” You know, one of those “resolution” type deals that is dreamed up, stated boldly, then falls to the wayside. 


I mean, shame. on. me.

God showed up this year. 

This could have been another year I complacently lived my life. This could have been another year I made a resolution to achieve “2020 vision” and forgotten about it by February. However, I had no choice this year but to reflect on my life and truly work towards 2020 vision, all because God is that good and cares enough to give us troubled times to help refine us as his children.

Covid has come with its challenges, heart break, and change. (So. Much. Change.) 

I have dealt with my full-time job, teaching middle school, changing in ways that required me to figure out how to do my job effectively with little to no experience on how to handle the circumstances I was in. I have dealt with worrying about my loved friends and family members getting sick with Covid and when they did, fearing for their lives. And perhaps the hardest part, I had to learn how to truly feed my spiritual hunger outside the walls of the church building.

Thankfully, with all glory to God, I have been able to see how every grave I stood in throughout 2020, turned into a garden.

My job expectations, needs, and routines changing overnight taught me that I am capable of flexibility. I am able to be flexible and mold to circumstances more than I thought. I am a rigid, structured, planner. Change is not fun for me, but this year helped me grow a love for change. I have learned new technology, techniques, and effective routines to use in my job that I may have never learned without the trials of 2020.

Watching some of my loved ones become very ill with Covid reminded me that relationships matter. I lost my dad when I was in high school. I remember DEEPLY how much that loss did and still does hurt. I am bad about blocking out any feelings or thoughts that lead to thinking about the heartache of losing someone. It hurts. This year, thinking, “What if..? What if we experience loss? How will our family be different or move on?” Folks, I know how life changes when someone in your home or family dies. It is horrendous to go through. However, through those thoughts I had to face the reality that I block out relationships mindlessly so I “won’t have to” hurt like I did when I lost my dad. What is the point of that?! It’s going to hurt anyways! It is going to hurt even MORE because I will have regret of not investing my full self into my relationships. Relationships matter!

Finally, when the pause button was pushed on my life, much like yours may have been, in-person church events and services were too. I had to find myself as just that, myself; my own personal relationship with the Lord. I could no longer count on my spiritual thirst being quenched by congregating with others in the presence of God. Let me tell you, that's what I had been doing and I did not realize how far down that easy way out I had gone. When church events moved to online only I was lost with how to make myself feel full in the spirit. Like, what? How am I supposed to get into the right mindset outside of the building? Oh, how naïve I was. The church is not within the walls, it is within me and all of us fellow Christians. The alone time at home, watching services by myself, watching services of so many different churches, and just making myself dig into time with the Lord OUTSIDE of the walls of the church swelled my heart and relit a flame in my heart. This time last year I was in a darker place in my walk with the Lord. I truly believe this chance to re-evaluate and have to fight for my heart condition to get in the right place to be more personal with the Lord helped me climb out of the trench I was stuck trudging through. For any circumstance that helped me get out of where I was a year ago, I will praise the Lord for with all that is in me. I now have a better understanding of what personally fuels my fire, pumps me up for Jesus, and gets me into a healthy mindset. I needed all of that. I hope to stay disciplined and confident enough to keep my momentum up when the times do get easier and I don't have the circumstances Covid brought about to make me accountable. When I stray, I also pray that God corrects me and gives me another well deserved lesson on the importance of feeding my spiritual hunger in a personal way with him. I don't think I had a dry eye the entire first church service I was able to get back to. I also pray I never again take church and congregating with others to praise our Savior for granted like I did before the fiasco of 2020.

So in 2021 I pray that my newfound love for change will help me say, “yes” when God calls me to move. I hope that my new found realization and appreciation for relationships helps me build relationships that are meaningful for God’s kingdom. I hope that my personal growth that grew outside of the walls of the church building without the clutter of our mundane life tasks standing in the way continues to grow for years to come.

My involvement with Mod Threads embraces everything that 2020 taught me. I am confident to say that without these trials I have poured out to you about I never would have said yes to building relationships with a community through a platform that focuses on keeping God and his kingdom at the center. You all have shown your love and support for Mod Threads and it cannot continue in the right direction without its community of supporters driving its success.

Dear God,

I pray that we all look back on this past year with a meaningful hindsight of 2020. I pray that we can all look back and have a clear image of how 2020 improved us and prepared us to continue to grow to be your best selves for your glory. We can’t change the bad that happened, we can’t make it all stop with just the flip of a page in our calendar, but we can still look to find joy in the morning through You.


Weeping may endure for a night,
But joy comes in the morning.

Psalm 30:5

Now that you have read my takeaways of 2020, what are yours? What graves were made into gardens for you? If those graves aren't gardens yet, give it time and really lean into Him. He is the best source you will find solace in. 

With True Sincerity,


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