Chelsea is a friend of mine from church and is a momma of a sweet boy who received this diagnosis at a very young age. Chelsea and her husband had to walk the unknown in parenthood and learn to fully rely on the Lord when they felt at a loss on how to sort out all of the details. They had to learn to trust through the unexpected. They had to learn how to choose faith over fear. They had to learn how to choose peace over a diagnosis.
Chelsea wrote a small glimpse into this season of her life and is sharing a part of her testimony with her Mod Threads family! Read what she had to say below:
"I have always struggled to keep my mind on the present. Fear and anxiety about the future seem to constantly consume my unguarded thoughts. So when my husband and I first uttered the word "autism," while discussing our son, my mind instantly leapt forward in terror. What would this mean for our family? For our son? For our future?
When Indiana was two, he was officially diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. The evaluation was full of information. We were told how far behind he was in communication and cognitive development, what therapies he needed, and how he compared to other children his age. But what they couldn't tell us was the information that I really wanted: What would his future look like? Would he ever speak? Would he ever be able to discern danger? Would he ever be able to live on his own? Would he ever have friends? They didn't have those answers for us. Autism is such a varied disability and every individual's experience, symptoms, and future is vastly different. So without answers to these questions, the future seemed overwhelming.
I spiraled. My anxiety and depression hit an all time low. I was terrified and miserable for so long. I didn't know how to stop the spiral of my toxic thoughts or find refuge from the fear. At my lowest I finally cried out to God to take it from me. To make it all to stop. To fix it. I even told God how I wanted Him to fix it: answers. I needed to know that Indy would be okay and that he would be safe and happy. I needed to see the future to finally be at ease.
I imagine God gently chuckling at my child-like demands as He pulled me in close and gave me what I really needed. It wasn't answers. It wasn't a glimpse into my son's future. It was simply His peace. A sweet, indescribable peace that made absolutely no sense. To this day, I am amazed at how His peace invaded every space of my being once He whispered to my heart that not only was He fully in control, but that He was already working for our good. I had only to be still and trust Him.
Occasionally, I do still catch myself worrying over Indy's progress or forgetting who is really in control. Anxiety is a battle I will likely always have to fight. But making the daily decision to lean into my Father, trust in His love, and breathe in His peace is well worth it. Fear and anxiety have no power in His presence.
Indiana is truly amazing. He is such a happy, funny, and loving little boy. I have no doubt that he will do great things in life. Most importantly, when you ask him "who is amazing?", he will confidently shout "Jesus!" Yes, Indy. Jesus truly is amazing, and oh, so deserving of our trust."
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5